


Feels Good To Be Lonely

by Warriorsqueen



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Age Difference, Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Drag Queens, F/M, Fear of the Russian Government, M/M, Multi, Public Sex, Trans Female Character, Yuri!!! on Ice Shit Bang 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 04:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11960172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warriorsqueen/pseuds/Warriorsqueen
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky hides his interests from the world. As Yelena Frost, he exposes himself for all to see.





	Feels Good To Be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Art by [IllyasJames](http://archiveofourown.org/users/IllyasJames/)

“Hey did it arrive?”

Yuri sat up, turning to look at the innocuous-looking package laying on his desk, a simple brown box covered in labels indicating its passage through customs. “Yeah, it's here all right.”

“Remind me again why you made me go and get that for you?”

Yuri sighed. “It's for one of my friends. They don’t have the international connections I do and you know how it is here.” 

Otabek sighed over the phone. “I know. I just worry."

Yuri let out a sigh of his own, rolling his eyes. "I don't need you to worry about me, Viktor and Katsudon do it enough already.

“I know, I know. Hey, I have to go. My class starts soon and I have to go get ready. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah absolutely. I have to get get ready for dinner. Talk to you later.”

Otabek said his own goodbye as Yuri hung up. He flopped back onto his bed, startling Potya who lept off the bed. his eyes turned to the box on his desk.

Not yet.

Yuri sat up and sighed. It was about time for him to leave anyways.

Throwing his stuff in a duffle, Yuri couldn’t help but cringe. Hopefully they’d let him use the steamer backstage. Heavily wrinkled outfits was a no-go at any time.

Yuri threw his duffle, package, and makeup trunk in his car. On the ride downtown, Yuri played his music over and over again. He had to to know every word and every beat. Memorizing his routines had never been one of his major issues but on ice he didn’t need to know the words. On stage, he had to the words better than if he had written the song himself. And he would. Yuri wasn't allowed to be anything less than perfect.

Pulling up to the club made everything suddenly very real. Central Station was the biggest gay club in Saint Petersburg and tonight was their drag night. And Yuri was slated to perform. 

His duffle slung over a shoulder, Yuri ducked his head as he walked into the club through the performer's entrance. It was still pretty early but he needed to get in before everyone else. He was, after all, Russia's Olympic star. One photo sent to the right publication could definitely ruin his career.

Inside the club was very quiet and The dressing room was even quieter. None of the other drag queens were there yet, which was exactly the Yuri wanted it. He set himself in front of one of the mirrors and began the long process of putting on his makeup. As other queens trickled in, he paused his makeup and went to the bathroom to go tuck. His outfit made it a necessity to have his dick completely out of sight.

Once he was tucked, he went back to his station to get dressed. Yuri set Otabek’s package on the vanity. Slowly, he tore at the tape. Inside lay a nude colored mass of silicone. He pulled it out. There it was. The breast harness he had ordered. Yuri placed it on his shoulders. Yep, it was the correct skin tone and gave just the correct shape and look. Yuri glued it down and tossed on his top. Yep, the cropping fell at just the right place.

Yuri kicked his leg up over his head, leaning against the wall in a stretch. Another one of the queens, her makeup only halfway applied, stared in awe.

“Shit, thats some real nice flexibility.”

Yuri shrugged, leg still raised against the wall. “I’ve been dance training my entire life. Flexibility happens.”

Another queen let out a low whistle. “Damn. Dancers are fucking crazy in bed. I’m willing to bet you’re the same.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. This queen wasn’t _entirely_ wrong _._ He knew quite a few dancers who were really kinky behind closed doors. But it was really the ice skaters who were the truly crazy ones. The amount of sex in the olympic village in Pyeongchang was a testament to that. Chris alone was a testament to that.

"Alright everyone, first performer on in 10." The stage assistant that spoke then turned to the drag queen who had spoken to Yuri just a moment before. “You might need to finish your face quickly Irene, you’re looking a little half baked.”

The queen- Irene gasped in fake outrage before hurrying finish her makeup. Yuri turned back to transforming his own face. To him, this was the hardest part of drag. Dancing on stage in front of crowds wasn’t that far a leap from skating on ice in the olympics. But doing hair and makeup as a drag queen by himself was extremely different from Lillia doing his hair before a competition. He had learned how to do some of it on his his own over time but all of his drag makeup skills came from practice and watching youtube videos. Even then it was far from perfect. Very, very far.

Yuri grabbed his coat. He was almost up. 

He’d be ready.

* * *

 

“In her first show on our stage, let's welcome Yelena Frost!”

Yuri stepped out onto the stage, his long white fur-trimmed coat shining like snow under the stage lights. As the music started, a slow seductive piece, he began moving across the stage. Each step was filled with purpose and intimidation as he stalked across the stage and took the 100 ruble notes extended towards him before carefully placing each note in his top. He moved like a woman in an old movie- no, he moved like Lilia. The woman who was above everyone else she interacted with and they all knew it. 

Yelena froze with his back to the audience as the music suddenly stopped. One breath. A second breath. The music picked up again, now a much faster and energetic beat. The lyrics were in English but even those who didn’t understand the words understood the meanings. The large fur coat dropped, revealing a pair of black high waisted shorts that barely covered his ass, a skimpy crop top that crisscrossed across her ribcage to reveal the underside of her new breast plate, and thigh high boots. Money fluttered down from where it had previously been held by the coat.

With the new music and costume change the energy of the performance picked up. Yelena held a sharp scowl on her face as she did a cartwheel across the stage into the splits. The crowd exploded in response, as if this wasn’t something Yuri could do as a warm up. Strutting around the stage and grabbing money out of an audience member’s hand with her teeth, Yelena could feel the crowd’s energy in her blood. A back handspring into a death drop made the cheers feel louder than the olympics.

 

Yuri was all smiles as he walked backstage. he had some money clutched in each hand and more shoved in his waistband. A stagehand was following behind carrying the large fur coat and the remaining money that had been scattered across the stage. Once in the dressing room, the other drag queens stared in awe.

“I knew you were good but damn” Yuri smirked. He knew he was good. And in this room he was the best and everyone knew it. Nobody was comparing him to Viktor or Yuuri. He was the queen people would be talking about after they left and that’s what mattered

Yuri sat down at his assigned mirror and began sorting through the tips he had earned. There were a lots of 200 and 500 Ruble bills. It was definitely enough to cover the amount he had paid to perform there as well as maybe a new outfit.

He was packing his money into a plastic baggie when he heard a voice behind him

“Your performance was amazing!”

Yuri turned around to see another drag queen standing there. She was wearing a studded bra and panties and a long black wig. Her makeup was dark and heavily stylized with very abstract eyebrows and a very dramatic contour cutting across her dark skin. But most surprising was the queen’s words. She was speaking with a distinct American accent.

"Thanks." Yuri spoke with little enthusiasm before turning back to his money.

The other queen kept talking, undeterred. "Seriously, you're amazing. You're even better than some of the experienced queens back home. Once you have a little bit more experience with your makeup and a new outfit or two you could really compete with the best of them."

Yuri couldn't help but preen a bit with the praise. His outfit was a combination of stuff stolen from the back of Mila's closet, stuff stolen from Lilia's winter coat storage, and his own boy clothes. It was honestly sheer chance that he even looked good, let alone ‘able to compete with the best of them. 

The other queen now was resting her head in her hands, her gaze now focused firmly on Yuri.

Yuri raised an eyebrow.

The queen shrugged “I’m just trying to figure out how good you’d be in bed. You’re super flexible so that’s a point in your favor. You’ve got some muscle to you so that's another point. You’re young so that could go either way. Despite that muscle, you’re a bit scrawny so that's a point against you.”

Yuri couldn’t help but stare. This queen was attracted to him? He had always known that he was ‘attractive’ but in a very nonsexual way. He was attractive in the way that was reserved for small animals and paintings of angels.

The other queen tilted her head as Yuri kept processing what she had said.

“Do you need me to to be more explicit in my desires or are you still processing?”

 Yuri nodded. This was going faster than he expected.

The queen smirked. “Then I’ll be in the bathroom. Care to join me?”

The bathroom was surprisingly warm. Yuri supposed that had cut air conditioning to the room so that the queens had a private room to smoke in with vents to clear the air. But for him, the heat just seeped into his skin and made his makeup feel even more caked on than before.

The other drag queen smiled as she began pulling at the tape that was restraining his dick. When he was performing the tape was helpful in maintaining the female illusion but it was decidedly unhelpful when trying to get a blowjob in a bathroom. Yuri pulled the last of the tape off, allowing his cock to spring free.

The queen smirked. “Not as big as I was hoping but definitely longer than I was expecting.”

Yuri’s response died in his throat as she took his entire length into her mouth with a practiced ease.

The sensation of her warm mouth on his cock was unlike anything Yuri had experienced before. He let out a gasp that sounded a bit closer to a moan before swearing. The queen dug her sharp nails into his thighs which only served to bring him closer to that approaching edge.

As he climaxed, Yuri’s eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy. He had made himself cum by his own hand countless times, but this was so much better than any of that. Her mouth added a dimension that was both unique and overwhelming.

Yuri leaned against the wall, his spent cock still dripping with cum and saliva.

The queen wiped at her mouth, only slightly smearing her lipstick. She smiled.

“That was fun. Maybe you could return the favor sometime?”

Yuri was still catching his breath

“I don’t know your name.”

“I’m Jackie Kirby. I’ll see you again next week Yelena.”

With that, Jackie walked out of the bathroom. Yuri slumped to the floor, his shorts and underwear pooling at his ankles and tuck tape now smushed against his bare ass.

Yuri smirked. Oh he’d be seeing her next week.

* * *

By time drag night came back around the next week, Yuri was ready.

The previous week’s tip money had been used to order an outfit off amazon. It was far from high quality but Yuri didn’t mind too much. It was perfect for the performance.

He had spent all week thinking about this night. His mind was imagining makeup and sequins while skating his routine for the upcoming season. Katsudon had choreographed it for him and had been helping him run through the routine. Yuri would loved to have gone with a different choreographer but with ‘skating’s power couple’ taking over as his coach after Yakov’s retirement. Yuri would never admit it but Katsudon’s choreography was the best he had been given.

So that week’s performance choreography became the skating choreography. Walking across the stage with dramatic pace and twirls. The fabric of his gown floated behind him as he twirled. The dress itself was incredibly cheap, but when the high note in the music hit, Yelena kicked her leg up to the side all the way over her head. Holding her leg over her head while continuing to lip-sync led to to explosive cheering.

The performance itself had been electric. The audience made it a drug.

Walking off the stage, Yuri saw Jackie waiting for him. A smirk came over the blonde’s face.

“What did you think?”

“Pretty damn good. Now now make sure to keep your eyes on me.”

Jackie strutted past him, hips swinging. Yuri rolled his eyes but followed to the wings of the stage to watch.

Jackie’s performance was nothing short of transfixing. She was performing to some American pop song but it didn’t matter that nobody in the audience knew the words themselves. Jackie knew every word and hit every beat, her hair flying out behind her like a halo. When she death dropped at the end of the song the crowd descended into madness. They were screaming and cheering as though this was Jesus himself.

As Jackie walked off stage, she had a shit eating grin. Yuri watched as she walked past with a wink. He rolled his eyes before turning to the door back into the club. A drink sounded nice right about then.

* * *

He must have definitely had a bit more than a single drink because he soon found himself back in the grimy bathroom making out with Jackie against the wall. She tasted like smoke, booze, and desire.

Yuri struggled with the duct tape holding back his dick as Jackie stripped out of her leather harness and undergarments. 

As soon as Yuri was free, he turned his eyes back to Jackie and froze. She just rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I have a vagina. You can get philosophical about it later, just decide if you want that or my asshole. Pick one or the other but not both. I’m really not in the mood for an infection down there.”

"But you’re-“

“A drag queen yes. I’m also a woman. Paid for this pussy myself. Now are you going to fuck me or not?"

“I-“

“Yes or no. Answer me.”

“Y-yes.”

“Good. Now come on, choose a hole, and fuck me.”

Yuri scrambled to line himself up with Jackie’s waiting pussy. As he began moving himself inside, her entire body unwound. Her face was one of absolute pleasure. As he slid further and further in, Yuri could feel his own face mimicking hers. The sheer warmth and tightness lit his nerves on fire.

He continued to thrust and she continued to moan like their own choreographed performance. Eventually, Yuri could feel Jackie’s orgasm pass over her like a wave just he as he reached his own peak.

As Yuri slid out of her, he propped himself against the wall.

Jackie laid back flat against the floor, her breathing still erratic. “You are much better at that than you really should be.” She paused "We should honestly put down a towel or something, it’s cold here.”

Yuri rolled his eyes

“Anyways, I have an idea for a performance that I need your help with.”

Yuri laid down on the gross floor next to her. “Tell me more”

* * *

Yuri could not believe he had agreed to this. He stood in the wings of the stage, shaking as his dick was uncomfortably exposed underneath the skirt he was wearing. It had taken Jackie two weeks to convince him but Yuri had agreed and was already regretting it. 

“Next up, Yelena Frost and Jackie Kirby!” The crowd applauded and the music started. Yuri rolled his shoulders and entered the stage. His choreography wasn’t very difficult and Jackie let him pick his own music for this part. It was a slower song, one he had first heard when Katsudon had performed it as a part of an exhibition show. But this performance about to be a completely different type of exhibition.

Yelena strutted across the stage trying to not give off an aura of nervousness, but the pure superiority that was her persona. She perched herself on the edge of the table that was set up on the stage, legs crossed uncomfortably over his erection. The music changed and Yelena held her pose. The music was now a seductive pop number and Yelena knew Jackie was now on stage by the cheers of the crowd.

When she felt Jackie’s hands pushing her back onto the table, Yelena knew it was out of her control. With a quick pull and a shift in the beat, Yelena’s skirt was gone leaving her dick erect and on display. A cheer went up through the crowd. As the song transitioned to a rap section, Yelena could feel Jackie impale herself on her exposed dick. The crowd began to cheer even louder. Jackie was bouncing to every beat and Yelena knew that she was rapping along with every word on the track.

He came right as the music ended. The audience applauded and screamed, louder than Yuri had ever heard them. He smiled as took his bows with Jackie, dick still awkwardly on display through the ruined skirt now back on his waist.

Once they were back behind the curtains, Jackie started jumping up and down in excitement. “Oh my god that was amazing! did you see the crowd? I’ve never had that good of a response. Yuri just nodded, unable to respond with words. As Jackie got even more excited Yuri slipped away back to the dressing room. He sat down in his makeup station in the corner and stared in the mirror. He studied his own face. But it wasn’t his face. It was the face of Yelena Frost, icy bitch extraordinaire. And Yelena would definitely not be feeling like _this_ , whatever _this_ was.

Yuri dug through his bag, looking for a distraction before pulling out his phone. His phone notifications were an ad from a game he had downloaded, a text from katsudon asking if he was free that night and a 5 notifications that phichit+chu had posted a picture on instagram.

Yuri swiped on the instagram notifications, hoping that the Thai skater’s posts would distract him with images of hamsters or something. He froze. The post he had opened was a selfie of Chulanont in front of a stage, his hand over his mouth in mock astonishment. The caption read “Russian drag queens are insane!” And on the stage in the picture was Jackie and Yelena. Jackie had her mouth wide open, clearly lip-syncing perfectly to the song. And Yelena... Yuri clicked away to Chulanont’s profile. He couldn’t look at that picture.

His heart dropped. Chulanont other pictures confirmed what he had been afraid of. He was here. In Russia. At the Club. With Viktor and Katsudon. They were all at the club. They had seen his performance. They had seen him in drag. They had seen him fuck Jackie.

He couldn’t do that right now. They hadn’t known it was him but- he couldn’t complete that thought. He needed to get out of there immediately.

He needed air.

He pulled out his phone

**Yuri: Can you take me home? I really need to get out of here.**

His hands shook as he waited for the response

**Yuuri: absolutely. where are you?**

**Yuri: I’m at the same club you are. Meet me out back**

Yuri shoved his phone in his bag and threw his stuff in his bag. He hadn’t gotten his tips from his performance but he was pretty sure Jackie was honest enough to take all the money for herself.

Bag slung over his shoulder, Yuri made his way to the back door.

“You’re the queen from that performance earlier. Have you seen-“

“Katsudon, just don’t” Yuri cut him off, not wanting to think about what he had been a part of. 

Yuuri’s face was a mixture of recognition and shock before softening into something like pity.

Yuri nervously covered himself with the still shredded skirt. “Can we just go? And can you ask Chulanont to take down his picture?”

Yuuri nodded “Yeah, I can do that.”

* * *

When they got back to Yuri’s small apartment, he ran directly to the bathroom and began scrubbing off the makeup. He didn’t get all of it but it was enough so that he saw himself in the mirror and not Yelena. 

Yuri sighed and pulled a towel around his waist. Looking at his phone, he saw there was a notification.

**Jackie: You ok? You seemed a little shaken after our performance**

Yuri ignored the text. He was definitely shaken. But ok? He wasn’t sure.

He exited the bathroom and went straight to his bedroom. He awkwardly pulled on an oversized shirt and a pair of boxers before entering the small living room where Katsudon was awkwardly waiting on the couch.

“Are you alright?”

“No.”

“Were you-“ Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. “Was that-“

“No. I had agreed to it. I chose my music and ordered my outfit. And drag is something I chose to do and have been doing for awhile. I just-“

“You just what?”

“I just-“ Yuri sighed and shifted his gaze to the floor “I really wish that I hadn’t done that performance.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wish that I had an excuse for feeling like this! I’ve been performing my entire life! I was just doing another performance. It was something that had been discussed and choreographed and I agreed to do it and-“ he sighed deeply. “I hated it. I like dressing in drag. I like performing. I even like doing stuff with Jackie.” The last sentence came out as a murmur. “But I didn’t like doing that."

Silence hung in the air

“Sometimes, people just aren’t ready for certain things.” Yuuri immediately put his hands up in a defensive position “This isn’t about your age I promise. People just aren’t automatically ready with everything they agree too. You weren’t ready and that’s ok.”

Yuri nodded slowly, letting the japanese man’s words float over him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready. He had been ready. Hadn’t he?

He kept his eyes fixed on the floor as Yuuri said his goodbye and said that he’d have Viktor drop his car in the morning.

He had been ready and prepared. what had caused this for him?

Yuri’s eyes snapped to his framed olympic medal on the wall.

Fear.

Doing something like that performance was public proof that he was a deviant. He had done a sexual act in public and gotten paid for it. If the government or his sponsors found out, they could take everything from him. They could take everything from his family.

He pulled out his phone.

**Yuri: I know it’s late but can we talk?**

**Otabek: Yeah, sure. What do you need?**  

* * *

Yuri shoved his hands in his jacket pocket. He felt weirdly self conscious meeting Jackie out of drag. Jackie herself was was dressed down with a simple skirt and blouse.

“Hey I brought the money.”

“Thanks” Yuri took the offered wad of cash and shoved it in his pocket, his voice barely above a murmur.

“Now can you tell me why we’re meeting now for this instead of on wednesday? I’m pretty sure it’s not because you desperately need the money or you wouldn’t have walked out without collecting it in the first place.”

“It’s because I’m not coming next week. I’m done performing at Central Station.”

Jackie’s eyebrows raised in surprise “Really? I’ve seen you perform, you’re addicted to the spotlight.”

Yuri scowled “I can’t keep performing. I can’t risk the exposure.”

“Wait what?”

“The only reason I’m able to survive is the money I get from the government. If they found out what I was doing, they’d arrest me and leave my family to starve.”

Jackie laughed “What, are you some big hotshot in the Mariinsky?”

Yuri could feel his face turning red “I’m actually a world champion ice skater.”

“So I fucked a world champion.” She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. “You seriously expect me to believe that? What’s the real reason? An angry boyfriend? An angry sugar daddy? An angry girlfriend?”

“Fuck you!” Yuri pulled out his phone and quickly pulled up his wikipedia page before shoving his phone at her.

Jackie quickly scanned the webpage before her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. You got silver in the olympics last year. I watched you on tv.” She looked up from the phone. “You’re only 18? Fuck, my bad. I generally try not to have sex with anyone over 10 years younger than me.”

Yuri grimaced before snatching his phone back. “Fuck you’re old. Anyways, I just wanted to say bye. Courtesy and that shit. I kinda freaked out after our performance but it was fun.”

Jackie smiled. “Yeah, you were a good fuck. Good rival for a bit there too.”

“Rival?”

She shrugged. “You were the only performer even close to as good as me.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Anyways, it was fun. I’ll see you around or something.”

Jackie smirked “Or something.”


End file.
